The Truth About NATLFED

May 22, 2017

What is your best or worst memory of the cult?

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 21:51

It is my opinion that many former cadre have more “worst memories” than “best memories” from back in the day.  There was definitely a honeymoon period.  After all, the group was intent on recruiting you, so you didn’t suffer from the various torments or physical abuses that came later on.  Some formed friendships that felt genuine, maybe even were genuine, continuing after the cult experience.  Others parted ways for a variety of reasons.

As I look back at the best memories, well, most of them centered around various achievements such as becoming a full member.  At the time, it was a milestone of belonging to a true cause.  Yes, I felt the excitement and happiness.  Did anyone reach that point loathing the day?  Oh no!  I’ve earned a new dot!  It’s relative, of course.  At the time is probably best quantified as a matter of perspective.  Hindsight is 20/20, they say.  I still have a slight scar from the time someone smashed a coffee cup against my skull that required several stitches.

Small achievements brought joy and a sense of accomplishment.  I think most former cadre can remember times with disaster relief units, bringing in and then distributing large quantities of relief items such as food and clothes.  We can also remember being chastised for not recruiting enough through the effort.  People through money, and money through people.  We remember that mantra.  While we did good works, it was never good enough.

Sometimes, we were left in impossible situations.  How many single cadre entities were there?  When those entities did manage to recruit something, what happened?  The new recruit was immediately spirited away to an administrative office, leaving just the one cadre again.  It had the effect of further demoralizing the lone cadre.  I recruited someone and they took him/her away — what’s the point?  Maybe that’s why so many entities with just one cadre remain in that situation for so long.

I suppose there are some who never would have been friends except for a shared existence within the Organization.  I can’t see myself associating with college professors, for example, because most of them have me out-classed.  I’d be lost in conversation without some sort of common ground.  It’s like listening to a classic music station and then reading a playbill.  Chop in?  That work sounds like something Show Pan did.  A doctor would not associate with a working class stiff like myself; he in his fancy BMW while me in my twenty year old Pontiac.  Gosh darn, I need a new car.

There’s a reason many people left.  Ultimately, the circumstances are fairly unique to each person but there are some common grounds.  They grew tired of the physical abuse (or the emotional or psychological abuse).  They felt the Organization lost its way.  They wanted to be with someone (yes, couples had a way of leaving together).  They thought the Organization was the hamster spinning around in the wheel, not going anywhere.  A few left to start something else while others left to find something else.  Some were flat-out tossed out on their butts with no place to go, left in a state of confusion.  There’s more, to be sure.

The Organization became adept at labeling persons who left.  So-and-so was crazy.  We’ve discussed the “crazy” explanation.  Non-medical persons were giving prescription medications to persons they thought met the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders for “Condition X,” and half the time the cadre thought they were taking iron supplements or something else seemingly innocuous.  There probably were some persons who suffered disorders, known prior to the person joining the Organization, of course.  The number of persons diagnosed while in the group might prove disturbing if anyone did a survey.  But then again, who would be unafraid or unashamed to say, “Yes, they gave me the red triangle pills and told me they were iron supplements but never told me they were really lithium.”  (Mm, how many of you are now wondering about the red triangle pills?).

There were several who left who did so under a dark cloud and the Organization said he or she stole large sums of money.  If you ask those persons, they’ll deny it.  They all consistently say that the Organization just said that to instill enmity within the cadre ranks and prevent a return.  Of course, the one person who left with any monies from Oldie’s coffers experienced the exact opposite, with the Organization flat-out denying she took any money at all.  I guess it was made up to sell books or something.

Most of the time, persons who left were simply cadre that gave up and joined the ranks of “them” because if you weren’t “us” then you were “them” (and the cult research sites have multiple articles on “we” versus “them” mentality).  There was always a potentiality the person might realize the error of their ways and return.  There was also the potentiality that the Organization could retread them back into the group.  After all, the Organization invested a lot of time and resources into recruiting the person in the first place.  “Crazy” and “dark cloud” persons were usually not considered for retread.

Lately, we’ve been getting a small number of referrals from Facebook.  I’ve been thinking about creating a profile there to see what all the fuss is about.  After the failure of My Space, that was kind of the end of it for me.  I did have someone contact me who indicated he has been in touch with Mary for the past several months.  I scratched my head.  You do know that Diane was Mary and she died over five years ago, right?  It was tempting to be snarky with funny stories about mediums and levitating tables, crystal balls, rattling chains, etc.  She lost the battle with leukemia.  I’m certainly no Diane, that’s for damned sure.  In fact, most people consider me the desperate lackey wanting to cling to someone important so that I feel important.  Yeah, I’m a loser…

Once again, I’ve digressed from the topic.  What were we talking about again?  Oh yes, good memories and bad memories.  Everyone has them.  It’s all a matter of perspective, which is something your therapist has probably explained to you.  While it may have seemed good at the moment you joined as a Viable Cadre, it actually became an anniversary date that requires reconciliation after the cult experience.  Now it seems like a bad thing and wow, why didn’t I realize that at the time?  If  you’re insulted by the plain speech of an average person, Ross and Hassan have good web sites.  If you’re trying to recover, this isn’t the site to hang out on; go to a professional.

We used to have a lot of persons contributing to this site, but many moved on with their lives.  I’m okay, you’re okay; I’m not okay, maybe you’re not okay.  The trolls and apologists still come around, although not very often.  I think they miss the good old days of Diane going head to head with them.  If you’re looking for amnesty or forgiveness, this is the wrong site.  I’m not able to offer absolution.  I can only ramble about my perspective.  You can either appreciate it, think I’m full of it, respect it, hate it, whatever.  I do know that I get tired.  I lost a lot of years.

Oldie always said that the Organization was your retirement.  Ah, if only that was true!  How many former cadre who invested so many years could expect to draw upon such a pension?  The reality is that there is no such thing.  Even if you’re still in it, how many current cadre have you seen actually retire?  No, they either leave for whatever reason or they die.

There are some sad memories I have.  Persons died while in service to the Organization.  I remember Polly and think what a waste for someone so young to put off medical treatment in favor of 16-18 hours a day service to the group.  That made me angry; she could have been saved.  Jim was another one who died far too young.  I’m not saying it’s less important that the old died simply because you expect that after a certain point.  It still hurts.  The good reverend, of course, as well as Pops and Robert T., just to mention a couple.  There was the medical student who left the Organization, a young man, who suffered a rock climbing accident and that was also sad.  When I die, I’m sure Margaret won’t even bother to come piss on my grave.  Oldie always said he was going to do that to Jeff’s grave.  Too many deaths yet we move on in life.

As always, the ramblings of this crazy person don’t amount to a hill of beans.  No one cares.  Oh wait — there are family members still suffering the loss of loved ones to the cult.  They want insight.  Someone once suggested that I was so damaged it scared the hell out of her and she feared for her son’s mental health (among other things).  Yeah, I’m broken.  Toss me into a trash can and find another blogger, or repair me with gold to make me more beautiful.  (Japanese pottery reference, by the way.  Aren’t I such a clever person?).

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem.  Okay, so apparently there are only around one hundred people who are part of the solution in the entire country.  Maybe it’s as high as one hundred fifty cadre.  I don’t know.  We can only go by reports of entities with just one or two persons as full-timers, and there’s no way of knowing with any certainty how many are in the WROC or NOC arenas.  Someone gave me the name of a PP OPS and indicated he was OPS for ten years, leaving me to scratch my head, never knew him.

I don’t know if Diane’s favorite apologist still runs his/her/its blog.  Check it out if you’re interested.  I gave up on it after the cavalcade of former cadre “outed” articles.  Vicious.  I don’t know what was worse, the ones he outed that he guessed right or the ones he outed that he guessed wrong.  Apparently when I was ten years old I seduced men into joining the Organization, which is just a disgusting mentality for someone to have, a classic justification by a pedophile.

There are those still trying to find a way out of the Organization.  They’ve been in it for so long they know no other way.  They feel trapped because they’ve been in it for thirty years and they have nowhere else to go.  They’ve fallen victim to the rote that the cult requires.  They may realize that it’s all a lie, but they’re afraid to leave.  What will happen to them?  It’s too late to start a job to earn a real pension.  Even priests and nuns get to a point where they can retire and the church takes care of them.  You can’t retire from the cult.  You work in it until you leave or die.


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May 17, 2017

I don’t get it

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 19:37

Maybe I’m getting old and tired but I was reading something over and over…I just didn’t get it.  There just wasn’t enough to the message?  Perhaps I forgot the Aesophian?  Then I decided to let it go.  Sure, I remember POP as point of production, that’s not the problem.  I wondered if it was serious or someone poking fun.  It was fortuitous or sheer dumb luck that I happened to check that old e-mail account, used mainly to receive updates from a book selling site.

It made me realize that yesterdays blurred into a strange sense of vagueness.  I’m not even sure if the word surreal aptly describes it.  I do feel that I have made a small difference — nothing earth-shattering as others claim they have done.  Oh, during the heyday of this blog, there were multiple contributors submitting articles under the ghostwriter pseudonym.  That was years ago.  Those who haven’t died simply moved on to other things in their life.

Very few persons are interested in reminiscing.  That’s probably for the better.  Many events happened so long ago that such nostalgia is just a footnote in a counseling session.  You eventually get better and move forward with life.  Or maybe you don’t get better, letting it eat away inside you until you slowly slip into the madness, unable to escape, and then it ruins you.

The question, “Is it a cult?”  It has divided the survivor community in several ways.  Sure, there were the true believers.  Many joined because they wanted to believe in something.  They felt they were making a difference.  When exactly did it all go to hell?  What happened when so many left?  If you believe in an afterlife, do you think those who passed beyond have finally reconciled events?  Too many questions of contemplation.

What about those still in it?  Only a handful remain, and none from the earliest of days.  It’s the second and third generations now, along with whatever new recruits come and go.  It’s not the same.  There are no five-year plans, or even twelve-year plans if you take into account an industrialized nation.  (Assuming, of course, that I’m remembering that point with the slightest degree of accuracy.).

Be of good cheer, fellow survivors.  Most of us are doing okay.

April 30, 2017

Comment not approved

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 13:50

Okay, it’s been a while since we’ve posted anything.  There just isn’t interest in an obscure cult that can’t even make gains during the current political climate.  We can’t confirm the latest rumor that the cadre base fell under one hundred.  In fact, we think that’s wishful thinking on someone’s part.  They’re not closing any MBA doors.  Maybe some of the business operations are falling apart, but again, we don’t know with any certainty.

What we do know is that we’re not going to approve any comment from someone interested in outing former cadre.  What is the point of outing someone who has been out for twenty years or more?  Furthermore, the things being said about these persons are just wrong on so many levels.  This is an example of someone who wasn’t there — or worse, the apologist is back attempting to stir up the pot.  Let’s face it, Mister Apologist, you won.  You’ve totally disbanded the network of former cadre; but at whose expense?

The ones still hoping to get out their loved ones some day, some time, some how.

We’re not saying that the cult lost all ability to recruit.  There are some colleges that still allow their students to participate in practical programs.  They allow their professors to invite speakers into the classroom.  We even heard a curious tale of a couple of the front operations resorting to bucket driving the airports as a quick fix to rent calamities.  We continue to hear of “organizers” who never spent a day in the field continuing to blindly read from the EO or STP’s as they claim authority as liaison.

We’re more interested in those who seek information on how to get out their loved ones.  We’re not going to advise anything illegal.  We don’t know the magic words.  All we can do is offer insight as to what it was like, what was the appeal, the hopes for a better future eventually subdued by internal posturing by alphas more interested in cash flows to support lavish lifestyles.  Yes, we’ve heard they don’t have multi-million dollar mansions (are you sure about that?) and the myth of $10K diamond earrings hanging from the lobes of the leader is just a myth (some of us did see that, by the way).

So now we’re back at square one of blaming a former cadre for recruiting another former cadre who is completely and totally messed up for life.  Take out your anger on the Organization.  What are you doing to bring it down?  Your stories are sad if there is a kernel of truth to them, and perhaps there is, but we’ve covered this in previous articles and private correspondence.

No one wants to rehash those old arguments.  People are tired of them.  If Diane was still alive, she might entertain another round with you, but I suspect she would have rolled her eyes and said something like, “That wart’s back?”

If you have any news, drop a note.  If you’re trying to roast someone alive inside a bronze bull, take it to the ancient world.  Who knows?  You might even earn a few power ups and extra lives playing your bizarre little video game.

March 1, 2017

Have you ever wondered what happened to so-and-so?

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 19:34

Believe it or not, the number one question of all time asked by visitors is: what happened to so-and-so?

Damned if I know, and even if I did, I wouldn’t tell some random inquirer.  I was asked what happened to so-and-so who left the Organization in 1984 and the inquirer really wanted to reconnect.  Huh?  That was 33 years ago.  If so-and-so didn’t reconnect with you already…

Was it really so long ago?  Yes, ladies and gentlemen.

I’m not saying that everything on the internet is true.  If someone were to look me up, they would find information mixed and confusing because one of my half-sisters has the same name.  I guess Dad was too lazy to come up with something original for wife number three, or he just forgot that he already had a kid by that name.  I guess you lose track after fifteen kids (four marriages, twenty-one kids in total).  She sounds off every time someone thinks he/she is being smart with the “background search” whatever tool being used and then gets really strange e-mails (sometimes even harassing or threatening contacts too).  She forwards the e-mails and then does her rant and rave.

Oy, what a situation!

There was a time we had an emphasis on helping former cadre reconnect with family, but the apologists really had too much fun with it impersonating family members and such.  For an Organization that has policy against the internet, their apologists sure do have a lot of free time to stir the pot on it.  However, they’re out to discredit the vocal former cadre, which the group refers to as The Network.  Wow, sounds like a bad movie.  Someone start popping the corn.

If I happen to know how to contact someone, I’ll e-mail him/her first and let them know some Tom/Dick/Harry is looking for them.  Most of the time, the person is agreeable to the contact, but there are a couple of people who just don’t want the contact.  Why?  Well, the inquirer, regardless of how sincere he/she might be, is an insufferable king of the world beats the crap out of everyone and every other toxic thing you can imagine.  Or the former cadre is just so jaded by the impersonations/allegations/tribulations/etc. they just don’t care anymore.  Maybe it’s something I’m completely in the dark about, mushroom that I am (yes, in the dark, as we’ve been told on many occasions).

I’m not going to promise anything, for I have little or nothing to offer except a good luck on your research.

February 19, 2017

Another anniversary come and gone

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 20:32

Well, before someone drops a note that perhaps we may have forgotten the anniversary of the failed date, we decided to drop our own note.

There’s nothing new to be said on the subject.  Over thirty years ago, the Organization was going forth with the temporary worker strategy.  Yeah, we’ve heard it all before: someone chickened out but everyone pointed accusing fingers at others.  It was more than the general strike up and down the eastern seaboard.

It’s not our intention to solicit reflections of the failed date, but if someone wants to share then he or she certainly can.  We remember but dare not linger, for it epitomizes the failure of the cult to make good on its strategies.  The poor are still poor, the not-so-poor are poor, etc.  Bread and circuses have been replaced by pizza rolls and video web sites.  You can criticize us for not organizing at this time to “do it” but we can also make that same criticism of you.  There are some former cadre who are, by the way, doing things with different groups.

We leave you to your thoughts.

Alone in the Darkness

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 09:52

I think it a fair statement that most have abandoned the notion of discussing a cult that refuses to die.  After all, it possesses no celebrities or persons from/of prominent families.  It has been compared to a leech, trying to draw away from other movements (or worse — taking credit for what other movements achieve and claiming hegemony).

Recently, I suggested that an inquirer contact another former member for a different perspective.  Apparently, I’m too damaged (translation: crazy) and very much unaware of current happenings in the group.  It’s true.  I don’t know who is currently in or out, except for the periodic updates through roundabout resources.  I think it took like two years before the Florida parents finally stopped pestering me to kidnap their adult offspring from Atlantic City.  I always said that was a red herring.  Mister and Mrs H, if you’re still following: no apologies; you’re rich enough to hire someone to commit that crime.

The recent inquirer thought he was doing me a favor when he told me so-and-so said that I was a liar.  What is that internet shorthand about laughing off the ass?  I asked him if the contact helped him at all.  The response: (so-and-so) said to let it die because times may be ripe but the cult will not be harvesting the crop.  That’s deep, I thought.  I also thought it was bovine feces because the person he was referred to has been out of the group for thirty years and has zero interest in the movement.

George, come down from those trees.
I’m perfectly happy to stay where I am.
Better angle to fling feces at you…

Ah, but what do I know?  I’ve been out for twenty years and have zero interest in the movement too.  Well, not exactly zero.  I help the charitable sisters with their food drives and fundraising campaigns during the year as well as their holiday distributions.  The poor are still poor.  The cult scammers still exploit that poverty.  It took VI five years (go ahead and scratch your heads) while the cult has been “at it” for forty-six years.  All original founders are dead.  If the group introduces you to one, you’re the one being lied to because it started with six and they are dead (GP, MS, PG, DS, DM, and HA.).  [As an aside, you’ll note that MR and AR are not part of that six, despite fantastic claims to the contrary.].

I’m accustomed to walking a narrow and winding path sometimes impeded by rock slides while at other times suffering the barrage of rocks coming from the sanctimonious holier-than-thou apologists.  Now, those apologists are creepy.  While just about every former cadre has abandoned contributing to the discussions, the apologists are still out there.  Why?  Because their leader tells them they must continue and they are loyal.

Life happens.  That is why I must conclude this curious contribution to a conversation that sometimes seems hopeless — until someone approaches with a lit candle to help the darkness go away.  I may not have the answer you’re looking for, but I do hope you find what you need.


January 22, 2017

We don’t know — we’re finding out stuff

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 15:57

Drop us an e-mail.  Akismet determined your comment met the criteria of spam.  We’re not aware of any recent arrests.

UPDATE: Not spam.  Comment approved.

December 31, 2016

Inquiry received

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 18:09

A friend is looking for someone lost to the group, uncertain if the person is still in or since departed.  If you’re interested in finding out more, drop me a note.  Established contacts only need reply.

December 18, 2016

Christmas scams

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 20:20

It’s that time of year when folks go door to door purportedly collecting money or other resources for the poor.  There was one incident recently where someone collected a pick up truck filled with food in the bed, and then the person went to the local corner and started selling it.  Five or ten cents a can, etc.  They made an unknown amount of money before the police picked up the scammers.  Groups you never heard of suddenly are making their presence known.

Most people know the safest thing to do is bring your contribution to the established charities.  Every town has something, whether it is Salvation Army, Foodbank, Saint Vincent De Paul, Gospel Mission, etc.  The good Sisters are hard at work, working in concert with several other groups, for holiday dinners at various sites around town coupled with toy distributions.

As always, we encourage you to research the group you’re considering given a donation to, because not all are legitimate.

October 18, 2016

Lost or Damaged

Filed under: Cult,NATLFED,Politics,Uncategorized — ghostwriter1984 @ 17:00

Survivor.  The very word conjures up one of two rationales of thought.  The glass is half full.  The person is strong, made it, things are getting better and the person will be okay in the end.  The glass is half empty.  The person is weak, continues to suffer, never truly recovers.  Some of you may object to this type of lumping or categorization of cult survivors.

Fear.  Many survivors suffer it.  After all, in the end something caused the person to leave, whether it was by personal intent or aggressive action.  There was a lot of abuse within the group.  Some cadre were berated verbally for months on end, told they were losers, worn down until they could take no more of it.  Others suffered at the hands of physical aggressors.  Another small group were subjected to medications given to them by non-medical persons looking up in the Physicians Desk Reference what they thought was best to control that person.

Apathy.  Some just don’t care to follow the various blogs or forums anymore.  It’s the same old crap.  They became burnt out a long time ago and realized those discussion groups did more harm than good.  They walked away; stopped contributing to the conversations.  They let the apologists wreak havoc and destroy such groups through mistrust, misinformation, and manipulation.

Memories.  As we age, things that were once important to us start to fade away.  We know we were misled and misguided.  We had a dream of fixing that which was broken.  Now, we carry on with the daily drudgery of our lives.  Some joined other movements or started something of their own, but most work paycheck to paycheck.  Another handful returned to the financial security of families with moderate wealth and/or the trust funds, recalling a time they acted out but returned to the fold.

Bull.  Have to include that one.  There are some who managed to rise to the top of the steaming pile as so-called experts on the cult when their participation was extremely minimal if even at all.  There was a time when most everyone knew others because of the NLC, but when those stopped what started was a period of isolationism.  Cadre in one entity had little to no idea of who was in other entities.

Come down from the trees.  A very funny exhortation rendered by a master that had cadre laughing.  Oh, he had other bits too that were funny including assorted miracles and the truth of water into wine.

People through money and money through people.  How many of you remember your inexperienced liaisons rendering that mantra?  They read from the EO or the STP’s and all you could think about was giving that kid a bucket and see him fall flat on his butt outside of the grocery store.  You knew you were in trouble when you actually got a liaison who worked in a field entity.  Of course, you still resented having to pay for the telephone call or use crazy code names.

Hardly anyone cares about such an eclectic group except those directly or indirectly affected by it.  Somehow, this “diminishes” the suffering or recovery process of those who were once in it.  It’s a tiny shrimp when compared to other groups that are blue whales or cachalot.  Every now and then, the group actually tries to retread certain persons back into the group.  Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.  It’s different from those who felt the group had a revolving door, coming and going as they pleased, until it was no longer tolerated; then begging to return.

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